Last week I received an email about my sister’s high school friend who just passed from cancer. Carrie Hill fought for three years, and last week the fight ended. When I was a freshmen, Carrie Hill would sneak me into the back of her Blazer so that I could go out to lunch with my sister and the rest of their friends. I hadn’t talked to Carrie since high school, and I’m not sure if my sister is still close with her. I don’t know what type of cancer she had – but I do know that she left a husband and two small boys behind.

It times like this… when I want to give up. I want to climb to the highest peak and thrown down my cancer-fighting-cheerleader-pom-poms. I doubt and question the future of the disease. Is there really a cure? Am I actually serving a purpose and making a difference? Why does this have to kill so many people? What’s worse – cancer or the devil? Why is this disease so effin nondiscriminatory and make so many people suffer?

Then I think about Martha – who I’ve dedicated this ride to. Martha has terminal cancer. Martha has stopped chemotherapy and treatment. And yet, Martha is literally one of the most optimistic people I know. Martha has opened my eyes to the dying process. She has been a true testament of her faith – and made me challenge my own beliefs. She has made me understand that letting go of someone you love is ok – because in the end, we’ll all be together again.

Martha’s strength is what keeps me fighting to help create a world without cancer.

My thoughts and prayers are with Carrie’s family and friends. In lieu of flowers, college accounts have been set up for her boys. Please email me if you’d like the info.

After last weekend’s 200 Hundred Mile Challenge, Luke had to one-up to challenge with an all day ride on the Backbone trail. Anyone who knows me knows…I awful with trail names and directions. The only thing I knew going into this ride was…it was going to be about 45 hard miles. I’d ridden parts of the trail, but not the entire thing (IE – no sane person would do this all at once!)

We woke up early on Saturday, chugged some caffeine (I mean…hydrated), threw on some spandex, and dropped off two gallons of water at the 16/36 mile part of our trip. Then it was off a long and windy drive up Yerba Buena to the the parking lot.

Since I knew this was going to be a big ride, I had to mentally prepare by breaking it down into 3 sections.

Miles 1-16: Yerba Buena to Backbone tunnel – this was probably the best part of the ride (read: fresh legs, feeling excited, recently caffeinated). Mostly single track, mostly downhill, some fireroad climbing, georugous views…life was beautiful!

Miles 17-31: Backbone tunnel to Corral Canyon and back – the ONLY thing I knew about this part of the ride was…I had attemped it once about 2 years ago and bailed 4 miles in. Literally. Bailed. Turned myself around and called it a day. Mentally, I was worried about this part of the ride. I threw down some Sport Beans (my latest obsession), some PB&J&honey, a Gu, some Gaterade, probably some Endurolytes (can’t seem to remember that part) – and off we went. The 7 miles to Corral were HARD, and I think the 7 miles getting back to the tunnel were harder!

Miles 32-44: Backbone tunnel to the car: PAIN, PAIN, PAIN…and PAIN! All I can say is…I ended with a prayer “Thank you God for down hills, Taylor Swift on my shuffle, and for keeping us safe and getting us back here.”

I proposed a 200 HUNDRED MILE Challenge to Luke and Lauren. Basically, we’d have to bang out 200 miles in 4 days. Lauren is someone who NEVER says NO (this can get incredibly dangerous…and painful) and Luke is too competitive to ride a mile less than his girl.

4 days of riding and 201.67 miles ridden:

Day 1: 30 miles in Sycamore on a singlespeed

Day 2: 70 miles on the road – started in Malibu on Latigo. Need I say more?

Day 3: 44 miles in Sycamore on my 1×9

Day 4: 56 beautiful road miles along the PCH

A BIG thanks to Luke for helping me print and stuff envelopes!

I’m still trying to determine my fund raising goals and the best way to achieve it – but am definitely considering seeking corporate sponsorship, spamming the hell out of my friends, and banging down doors until I reach my goal.

What I do know is…I can make a difference with every penny I raise.

Stand by for updates!